Friday Roundup: Asafa Disappoints in Melbourne, Flynn Wins $96K Betting on Rob Myers, Mahon Cuts Jen Rhines from Team USA
Asafa Powell's 2009 season started with a dud in Melbourne Thursday.
Asafa Powell’s 10.23 & DJ Appearance Fall Well Short in Melbourne
Former 100-meter World-Record holder, Asafa Powell failed to match his guarantee of a sub-10 clocking at Olympic Park Thursday, leaving the sell-out crowd in Melbourne chanting “We want Bolt!” as he took a victory lap. For Powell, the 10.23 second effort could not have come at a worse time as his popularity continues to wane in the shadow of current World-Record holder, and fellow countryman, Usain Bolt.
Noticeably agitated by the crowd’s reaction, Powell defended his performance in the post-race press conference citing a strong headwind and early season rustiness as reasons for his slow time. “It’s not even da’ Summer cookin’ yet. Dey say mi a bumboclot now, but dem oomen be begin’ a jook a dey ‘ear me spin a da bashment. Dey’ll eat mi up like I’m dat homecooked jerk chicken.” (Jamaican to English translation: “It’s only March. These folks believe me to be an asshole now, however, the women will certainly want to experience sexual intercourse with me after they recognize my abilities as a disc jockey during the big after-party.”)
Powell’s disc jockey skills turned out to be the second major overstatement of his Australia visit. Early into his stint on stage, Powell put on Rihanna’s smash-hit “Disturbia” and in the middle of the song, tried to start an inappropriate chant, saying, “If ya got a girlfriend Chris Brown her, If ya got a girlfriend Chris Brown dat ass.” Powell then gestured to numerous women in the crowd to come dance, but was left alone on stage doing variations of the Charleston. Not minutes later, Powell played the remix of Avril Lavigne’s “Girlfriend” and was promptly boo’ed off stage, replaced, to the crowd’s delight, by Australian Olympic Champion Steve Hooker.
Club Spearmint owner Snorky Jonez defended putting Powell as guest DJ, saying, “Backstage, that bloke was spinning like a madman, pulling all sorts of moves with the turntables I had never seen. His dancing ability was off-the-charts, but once he got on stage, in front of all those people, he crumbled. For the rest of the night, he had the same blank stare as a man who just saw a Dane Cook standup routine.”
Powell could not be reached for comment, but his manager JuJu B. Fuzzby released this statement: “Dem Kingston boys be spellin’ redemption A-S-A-F-A before da’ summers out, ya dig.”
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Ray Flynn won $96,000 last weekend by betting on Rob Myers. He has yet to pay Myers more than $50 for his championship effort.
Ray Flynn Bets on Myers, Wins $96,000 from Local Bookie
While many in the track community were surprised to see Rob Myers win the 1500 meters at the USATF Indoor Championships, Myers’ agent Ray Flynn said Thursday that he was so sure his athlete would win that he bet Myers’ $24,000 salary on the race. Not usually a betting man, Flynn said Myers’ penchant for racing well at USA Indoors combined with the favorites’ lack of “yockers” convinced him this was a safe wager.
“I went over to the track and almost shat me cacks watchin’ Alan doing sprints last Friday. He looked like a bucket a’ snots,” Flynn said. “Later I saw ‘dat other Dicky Dazzler Lukez-whatever in the bathroom, emptyin’ his Gary Glitter. It sounded like he was whimperin’. I had to fight the urge to give him the ol’ toe in the hole. Instead I gave him some jam rags and told him to grow a knob. Two ticks later I rang Padraig and placed me bet.”
Though Flynn never relayed his confidence to his athlete, Myers said he knew he had a great chance to take the win. “After news of Lagat’s withdrawal came out, Alan texted me, ‘We have a chance!!,’” Myers said. “Right then, I knew he wouldn’t be a factor. These days Alan’s head is full of more doubts than a football player on a fishing trip. As for Lukezic, I like to say, ‘If you ain’t first, you’re Chris.’ Lately he’d been running well, but in championships, he can’t handle the elbows in a tight pack. He says he bruises easily and won’t get too close because of that. After intros I honestly forgot he was in the race.”
Myers won four plane tickets with the win, though he said the race wasn’t about awards but rather respect – a respect that has eluded him much of his career. “I’ve won two more titles than Chris and one less than Alan, yet no one ever talks about me. Bring Leo, bring Lopez, bring Bernard back here in June and let’s do it again. No one can beat me in a slow championship race at Reggie Lewis.”
Flynn ended up netting $20,000 after he doled out more than $75,000 in unpaid bar tabs to various pubs around the IAAF Golden League circuit. When reached for a phone interview, bookie Padraig O’Tooligan was drinking heavily and contemplating the reality of such a dramatic loss, saying, “When I first looked at Ray’s bet, I laughed me arse off. The guy he bet on looked like a real squealer, no more than 15 years old. Feckin’ Ray musta’ been pullin me plum about one of those wankers havin’ de American Record cuz’ he and that other guy ran like feckin’ muppets… I’m gonna stay bolloxed until summer because of dem.”
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A once formidable coach-athlete duo, Terrence Mahon cut his wife from Team USA Mammoth Lakes Friday.
Coach Terrence Mahon Kicks Wife Out of Team USA Mammoth Lakes
Citing his wife’s inability to focus on one event, Team USA Coach Terrence Mahon announced remorsefully Friday that he has dropped three-time Olympian Jen Rhines from his Mammoth Lakes training group.
“We’ve had long discussions at the dinner table about the marathon being her best medal hope, but she hates it so much,” Mahon said. “I tried to appease her with the double last week at USAs and you saw the results.” The coach then revealed several deep cuts on his right hand, which were a result of punching a hotel mirror after Rhines’ disastrous 3000 meter last week. “Jen’s going to be 35 this summer, I told her it’s time to move up. She wouldn’t budge and there’s nothing more I can do but cut her loose.”
A perennial national-class distance runner, Rhines made her third Olympic team last summer in her third different event. In Beijing, she qualified for the final, but injury slowed her to a 14th-place finish. In a phone interview, Rhines said she found out the news via a note left on the fridge Thursday night that read: “My dearest Jen, Please do not show up to practice tomorrow. It has been too challenging to coach you while also being an amazing husband. Good luck in the rest of your career. Love Terrence. P.S. Please make me steak with potatoes and asparagus for dinner tonight.”
There had been grumblings throughout team Mammoth that Mahon was preparing to slim the group in the coming months, but Rhines was certain she would stay on the team. “I mean, really?” she said. “What about Julia [Lucas]? What about Steve [Slattery]? Steve ran a 4:10 mile this year. His wife beats him on tempo runs and they are kicking me out?”
When informed of his wife’s reaction, Mahon conceded her points, but said the other athletes filled important roles on the team. “Sure, Steve’s been having his difficulties, but it is crucial he stays with us to keep [wife] Sara from being a complete space cadet.” Mahon added, “I’m keeping Julia on an interim basis as our head press relations person. As much as she’s struggled on the track and roads in the last year, she’s been blogging her ass off for Mary [Wittenberg] and the New York Road Runners.”
