TwoAngryRunners Report from the Boston Marathon Expo
Ryan Hall signing autographs at the Marathon Expo. Unknown to many passerbys, God was nearby setting up his tent as well.
Two Angry Runners are here at the Boston Marathon Expo and we’re covering all the festivities. We’re doing a walking tour of the expo center so bear with us as we describe the various sights and sounds of Boston 2009.
A large crowd has gathered around the Dunkin Donuts booth, where Adam Nelson is signing autographs with a squeezable tube of Boston Crème filling. Later this afternoon, fans will have the opportunity to see Nelson at the Dunkin Tank. Similar to the dunk tank at the State Fair, youngsters can pay $3 to heave a shotput at a small target. If successful, Nelson will be “dunked” into a piping hot cup of hot cocoa. One rough young high school student, Bob “Brawn-Sauce” O’Doyle, has dunked Nelson three times over the course of the afternoon, prompting the shotputter to scream and rip his shirt off every time he splashes into the cauldron of delicious hot cocoa.
Over at the Saucony tent, Nate Jenkins is signing DVD copies of “Cast Away” for several very confused Natick residents. He spent the morning being lectured by a group of Boy Scouts about what to do if stranded outside during a snowstorm and also gave an inspiring speech to the Newton South JV track team advising the group of average runners on methods of becoming less average. When asked what he thought of the atmosphere at the John Hancock Sports and Fitness Expo, Jenkins replied, “It’s electric. Inspiring. Makes me want to get out there and run a marathon – except that would ruin my title as a marathoner who never actually runs marathons.”
Gabe Jennings is giving an acupuncture demo in the stairwell of the Hynes Convention Center. Actually, the less said about that particular scenario, the better.
At the Nike tent, Alberto Salazar is delivering an oratory on the benefits of drastic climate change. “10 years from now, every road in Portland could be underwater! This would actually be great for Galen, as it would reduce the pounding on his legs during long runs.”
Since Reebok recently cut their track and field sponsorships, they neglected to erect a proper expo tent. They did however, send Howie Glick, an intern at Reebok, who showed some can-do spirit and strung up a blue tarp between two light poles along the route and brought a cardboard cutout of Nick Willis. When asked about the future of track and field sponsorships at Reebok, Glick demurred, worrying that any wrong answer might come back to haunt his college resume.
In the Asics corner, fans were suprised to see God there setting up a tent early in the day in support for buddy Ryan Hall who is signing autographs for eager fans, many of whom are bullish on Hall’s prospects on Monday. “I’m just hoping some of Ryan’s popularity will rub off,” the Almighty said. “I spent all morning putting together this me-forsaken tent, and I haven’t been asked to autograph a race program or cure a case of blindness.” God then made eye contact with Hall and they pointed at each other while mouthing the words “You Da Man!”
Even LetsRun has set up a tent, and have initiated a “Guess the BroJo” contest. As you might guess, a substantial number of people were not even aware that there are two Johnsons. “OK, that one’s Weldon,” one contestant offered. “But then who is the other one?” “I’m Robert. Robert Johnson.” “The blues artist?”“No. Robert Johnson, distance coach at Cornell University.” “Silly Weldon. Is that a mirror?” “No, it’s me. Robert Johnson. Somebody get Wyner over here to clear this up.”
But, Two Angry Runners would be remiss not to include the rock star himself, Bill Rodgers. Rodgers has a Boston Maraton expo tent like the world has never seen before. There are tiki torches, kegs, and a live Bruce Springsteen cover band. For his part, Rodgers spent the afternoon in a throne made of discarded Pegasus shoeboxes, as an hours-long receiving line waited to meet the legend. “You have no idea how many milk bombs I have signed today. Luscious breasts covered in Sharpie.”