David Torrence Arrested After Mistakenly Robbing $10,000 at USATF Road Mile Championships
Up and coming USA middle-distance runner David Torrence has found himself behind bars after assualting a USATF race director following his road mile victory.
After winning the USATF Road Mile championships in impressive fashion, David Torrence made off with over $14,000 in prize money before being arrested on charges of assault 50 miles northwest of Minneapolis.
USATF had offered a $10,000 bonus to any male athlete to break the four minute barrier in the race, with an additional $4,000 for winning. In a fluke timing mishap, however, the results page listed Torrence’s performance at 4:00, instead of 3:59.3, the time actually recorded. Incensed at missing, what he called “a new trailer pay day” by the smallest of margins, Torrence decided to take things into his own hands. Storming the awards stand in a ski mask and black hooded sweatshirt, Torrence demanded $14,000 in unmarked, non sequential bills to be placed in a sweaty duffle bag containing Torrence’s singlet and lucky socks.
“I always carry my nine and a ski mask in my spike bag, just in case I need a little gas money for the ride home,” admitted Torrence through six-inch-thick shatterproof glass at the Rush City Correction Facility. “And the hoodie? Mom just said I might get a little chilly after the race, so I brought it along.”
After pistol-whipping race director Jack Slater, Torrence made off in his 1988 Buick LeSabre, heading north on Route 95 towards Fargo, North Dakota. “In my haste, I obviously didn’t have time for a post-race Endurox shake, so I was operating on fumes at that point. I was just trying to remember that movie Fargo and how Steve Buscemi’s character got away with the million bucks.” Informed that Steve Buscemi’s character meets a grisly demise and that the million dollars goes unclaimed in the award-winning Coen Brothers film, Torrence winced. “Ahhh. Well, ahhh, there ya go.”
Back in Minneapolis, a visibly shaken Slater attempted to recount events for Minneapolis police sergeant Sally Fontainebleux. Sobbing in the medical tent, with a Mylar wrap around his shoulders, Slater explained, “I was just about to call David up to the stage when I see him pushing through the crowd, wild-eyed and armed to the britches. He’s shouting at me ‘Gimme the cash! Gimme it or I’ll blow your head off.’ And I’m telling him ‘David, it’s yours! Take it!’ And he’s saying ‘You’re damn right, it’s mine!’ And I’m telling ‘No, David, it really is yours!’ and I’m trying to explain to him that there was a timing error, and that’s about when the hitting started.”
Torrence, an up-and-coming star in the U.S. running scene, has made an incredible breakthrough this year on the professional circuit. Entering the outdoor track season as one of the fastest athletes in the country without a professional sponsorship, Torrence had trouble making ends meet. “The debt starts to pile up after a while. A Pizza Hut buffet here, a set of nunchucks and ninja stars there, and pretty soon your credit card bill is unmanageable,” Torrence explained. “When I saw 4:00 on the results, something just snapped. I just wanted a nice meal at Red Lobster for a change.” Tapping on the glass separating David from the rest of the free world, Torrence pondered, “You think they ever serve lobster in the clink?”
It remains to be seen how his prison sentence will affect his race and training schedules, but many of his fans are anxiously expecting a long and rambling blog post about his experience behind bars.